Turkey Wrap-up

(Written July, 2008)
It is nearing the end of my visit here, and I find that I am not ready to leave. When I first arrived, I was enchanted by the exotic culture, the language, the muezzin call to the faithful five times each day. Within a couple months, enchantment turned to extreme frustration as I struggled with the language, struggled to do everyday tasks, and missed home immensely. I’m embarrassed now to say that during those days, my alienation led me to suspect Turkey would be improved if it could become a bit more like America.

These days the pendulum has swung back to the middle; I feel more at home in Turkey than I think I will back in Denver. The language has slowly become more comprehensible and the benefits of having a relationship-based society now seem to far outweigh the benefits of American efficiency. I feel comfortable on the streets here where, unlike my home, overt aggression is rarely, if ever, shown. I can say that in Turkey I’ve never seen a customer yell at a sales person, a traffic altercation turn personal, or a parent yelling at a child. That is not to say that people don’t disagree here and clash; however, the understanding is that it will be handled with the bounds of maintaining relationships.

These days, instead of looking to my guidebook when I think of visiting a new region, I mention to my friends where I might go, and offers of hospitality from extended families come pouring in. Instead of feeling the compulsive need to do everything myself, I’ve relaxed into the knowledge that every accomplishment is truly a group effort. Instead of being annoyed at the myriad of interruptions at my office that prevent me from doing my very important work, I realize that that these interruptions-the chai offers and chats-are what make anything and everything I do here possible and meaningful; they are my work. Instead of suspiciously shying away from strangers’ offers of help, I chat with them and almost always end up with better information that the guidebook provided (not once has someone tried to sell me something in the guise of helping me let alone do anything more sinister).

And I’ve come away with some realizations. I’m sorry to say that I have had to toughen my heart to the plight of some animals – so many strays here. I look forward to being in the U.S. where people chase stray dogs through the street in an effort to save them from traffic, where there is somewhere for these animals to go besides the cruel street. I still don’t understand the decision to cover oneself or wear a headscarf, although I believe every person should have the right to do so. I have become utterly convinced that the more any religion influences the governance of a society, the worse it is for people in general and women in particular. I love our (relatively) clean air and environmental protection regulations and realize how incredibly lucky Americans are to have such vast tracts of unspoiled wilderness.

I have often preached cultural relatively and tolerance and I guess in theory I wanted to believe in it, but for the first time I can say that I understand what it means.