Conference

Next week is the big conference that I have been planning, that has been taking over my life, that has caused more stress than any work project ever has. On Tuesdsay, after weeks of paperwork and my coworker, Feryal, negotiating on my behalf, I finally got permission to use the computer lab for two hours a day during the conference. I went into the lab today to make sure the computers worked and that the workshop participants could do the tasks they will need to do, and nothing worked. The sound cards don't work; Media Player doesn't work. I am teaching a class on podcasting, but I am not allowed to download a podcatcher onto any of the computers or any other type of software (making it impossible for participants to listen to a sample podcast). All of the audio recording software is disabled (making recording a podcast impossible). The Internet connection is as slow as molasses, so nothing can be streamed, and even simple tasks are time consuming.

After nearly having broke down in the office, I came home to a wonderful message from my friend Emma expressing her appreciation for the things that I do in the community/with the community. And she pointed out that, although I initiate these things, I don't often take control of the movements, but allow them a life of their own.

It made me realize that I don't really want to be the lead trainer of university professors, teachers, and students next week. In fact, I don't really believe in the reality that there is someone with the answers (me) and someone to be taught (them). We learn from each other, and I dislike the artificial role of "expert". A little late for this revelation, I guess.